The Show Must Go On

H

e woke up like every usual morning but something differentiated this morning from the usual ones. Rays of the morning sun stroke his eyes through the curtains which never bothered to show it sinuous or sweeping motion .It was not the efficacy of his determination but Yunesh had not experienced such sound sleep for weeks. He had not even been involved into his favorite pastime “Drinking”.

He had always implied a negation or denial to planning all his life but today he decided to adhere to the decision of dedicating this fine day for someone who always believed that planning was an undeniable requisite. Slesha was someone who behaved so idly all the times but had managed to create a persistent and an eminent space inside of Yunesh that he couldn’t stay without missing her every second.

This morning Yunesh felt like an angel came in his dreams last night and reminded him that he was deserting thoughts of Slesha. It was not true and even if subconsciously he had been doing that Yunesh decided to devote the leisure of the very day to someone whom he tried to hate but failed horribly, with whom he felt so ignored all the while but still could not help himself being around.

Yunesh tacked himself into the same shirt, used the very deodorant because he had a predilection for those things and every single one had memories attached to them. Deliberately he packed his laptop, started his bike and hit the road just to be astounded by the emptiness around him. “What is happening to this country? It is drowning.” But Yunesh was not in a mood to give much thought to the country today. After all he was out with a purpose.

Persisting with his journey again Yunesh felt the breeze hitting his body enlivening him even more. The sun was illuminating the whole sphere above shining in its full glory, and it felt like his head was being baked inside the helmet. He accelerated some more tricking all the bumps and mud holes on the road and his ipod on its full volume started to scream... “See me ride out of the sunset … “

Yunesh proceeded further towards his office in full speed, the clouds of dust seemed like they were trying to impend his journey but he rode through them. His hands and legs were coordinating themselves in equality of order with the clutch, accelerator and brakes while his mind was busy cogitating one decent answer for the maid as she would be opening the door and he was going to the office on an off day.

He got back his alertness when a big truck passed by him suddenly. There was a quick closure to his thoughts and he glued his eyes on the road till he reached office. Yunesh shrugged the dust off his body, fixed his hair and rang the bell. Nobody answered so he rang again. The door opened and the maid showed up. He had a momentary cessation of his heartbeat while she had an eerie expression on her face when she asked him

“Why are you here today Sir?”

Scratching the back of his scalp Yunesh tried gaining his composure and answered “Emm .. It’ll take about 15 minutes, I forgot a couple of files in my desk.”

She scrutinized into his eyes for a while before letting him in. Yunesh sighed with relief – half the battle was won. He intently superseded any eye contact with her again and quickly fled to his office on the top floor – not halting for a second he slammed the door to the terrace open. The cold wind ran through his veins making his senses more immaculate. He slowly walked towards the edge to the right.

It was the same place and the same corner that had engulfed in its heart so many beautiful moments, some beautiful stories, some rude scolds, secrets, tears, blood craved truths and yes some misunderstandings too that were never divulgated. Yunesh reclined on the wall and gazed towards the road below. Times ago, he would be leaning upon the very wall smoking in the morning fixing his eyes to the road waiting for Slesha to arrive. She would come along the very road ignorant of the fact that two eyes were watching every steps of her and a soul so happy – whispering within “yes, she is here.” He abided to his position for moments till he finished two cigarettes and came back to senses when he nearly burnt his fingers. The fire had reached the filter.

How he wished he could have controlled hallucination. He would have imagined himself leaning against the wall in the morning and would have seen her come but the bitter fact dictionaries these days had the word “impossible” in them. Reality bites and bites very hard. Yunesh got back to his desk and started to boot his computer. He was searching for some pictures which he had planned to print this evening. Once he located them he could not stop his yearning to go through them for a while. Nostalgia was in the air –The only thing that was hovering around his head “I’ve got to move out of here, I can’t be wetting my eyes today”. He quickly transferred the pictures in his thumb drive and called the maid to close the doors.

Once out of the office premises Yunesh gave free rein to his thoughts again and was thinking of his next stop.  He did hit the road again and subconsciously slowed his speed after a few hundred meters - He was near a spot where he had once experienced an accident. A small kid was hit vigorously by a scooter and the case was just settled for a mere 150 rupees. There were memories everywhere and today he was embracing them all. Few meters ahead near the waiting point he saw small kids buying ice-cream. He went near the kids and out of his utter instincts took out his wallet and paid for their ice-cream. He realized for the first time that sometimes people find happiness in small things. The day was already progressing so fine and the smile on the faces of those kids even made it better. He closed his eyes and wished “God please among these innocent faces let one be the kid who was hit that night”.

Standing aside Yunesh recollected memories of a movie statement – people die or may not remain in the same place but their voices float in the air around us. The open road seemed overfilled and compacted with vehicles again; he was visualizing the headlights of trucks and cars flashing, was hearing some sobs and a cry of guilt around him along with some words of consolation. It was one hell of a night. The accident and its aftermath was even a memory now.

Yunesh started the journey again and reached the junction which separated their places - she would take left from there towards her home and he would take the road straight which led towards his place – but for today going to his place was not the plan. Towards the right side just by the road in the first floor was a restaurant. Yunesh decided to deplete some time there too.

He climbed the round stairs up to the restaurant and took a seat in the right just by the window adjacent to the wall. There were memories of some promises made in that place, some tears shed on the very table he was sitting that moment, some emotions and some words which he had still not forgotten and never wanted to.

During his lunch some wild thought struck his mind and he couldn’t help chuckling. How about sharing the bill today?, what if he mailed the bill to her telling that he was in her area and would have loved to share half the amount of the bill. He could not stop laughing and thinking of her expression. Was he going crazy?  .. Certainly not...

His  cell phone rings.

“Hello! Who is this?”

“It’s me Kallu, what is happening to SPHM project broda are you sure you can make it on time”

“No worries sir, I’ll do that, there are still two more days for the deadline, you’ll have the work delivered in time, keep my assurance”.

“Where are you now? Can we meet?”

“Would have loved to, but I’m extremely sorry sir, I’m caught up here today for some personal work, how about evening tomorrow?”

“Seems fine to me, so tomorrow then”

“My words sir  ... Will certainly see u”

“All right then, bye for now”

Some actions in life are preformed without any real intentions. Things happen and helplessly you let them happen. Looking back at bygone days you start realizing that you had lived a life and experienced everything to the extreme. Few years ago memories for Yunesh were just an excuse to drink but now they were sole inspirations to live his present and make something productive out of it.

Yunesh finished his lunch. There was nothing to hold him back again. He just picked his bag paid the bill and left out towards his home. Heaps of work was waiting for him. He needed to submit the SPHM project anyhow. Down the stairs he looked at the road and smiled ... “The show must go on”